Thoughts

Hello!

Who are you waiting for? Would you like some company? Would you like to join us at the table?

As I watched the wine being poured in a crystal glass, smelling the spice and flavorsome dishes being served, I look out and it is the Harbour Bridge in the near distance.

I sip my merlot on the balcony overlooking Circular Quay as I looked in awe how beautiful the sun is setting and dim lights in the restaurants.

As it may sound daunting to some, I used to go on date nights…on my own. This is my ME time. There were days people would think my date didn’t turn up or they wanted to see if I needed company. I would refuse someone’s company because I wanted to enjoy the conversation with myself.

This may seem amusing to some but that quiet time with “me, myself, and I” was me enjoying the peace. My first time was uncomfortable, it made me second guess myself.

At first, I did feel uncomfortable and guilty. I ain’t going to lie, as I felt alone.

Friday night, dressed up, got my hair done, and hit the road in my silky long flowing dress. I hadn’t looked like this in so long.

It made me think, do I look overdone? Is my Chanel No. 5 perfume sitting nicely on me or does it smell like I had bathed in it??

Memories of my single life still hold close to my heart and knowing that I must take that time out with myself.

When you work long hours, you do things where you put everybody first.

You do the cleaning, cooking, washing, dropping and picking up my daughter, do the errands and so much more. I didn’t have much time for myself.

Guess what?

…I forgot about me.

I was too busy.

For what?

For who?

Was it necessary? Did I prioritise myself?

HELL NO!!! And it made me really sad.

So when My date night came around, I was excited.

One of my conversations to myself was understanding my experience with the people I encountered. Were they worth keeping in my life? How do they make me feel?

I always made strong decisions at the end of the night and to this day letting go of people was the right thing to do. If I didn’t, God did it for me.

I did meet a stranger in my passing who lived alone, and they said they didn’t enjoy being alone. We both shared different views on how we see life and not to say neither one of us was right or wrong, we were both experiencing life differently.

When was the last time you had put on an outfit and went somewhere on your own?

I know there are still law restrictions and it is easing up but I am sure you can find something to do to get you out of your skin.

Take advantage of your self-care because you’re worth it. You are and will always be.

Sending love and light

Phuong Phan